Ode to a Parent of Adjuration

I don’t know, there is sad sensation growing within  me continuously, aching soul than the heart emerging from me which is taking an unusual time to ail.

Is it natural, I ask myself. Do I know the answer? I can’t say.

A twitch in my memory, retrograding to an event of being forlorn. Intoxicated with this emotional ebb, I try to surrender but there is nothing to gain, only another day to look forward to in apprehension.

What am I looking for rigorously that has left me still looking for an unknown hoard? It belittles my knowledge of persistence, it belittles me as a reticent person. Its like I am holding sand in a tight grip. I don’t want it go so I hold on tightly but the tighter I hold onto……..

I don’t think I have a say in things of the heart and mind, I don’t even know why does a person behave in the way one does. And why does a person let go of things that were once of high regard.

The light seems to be a little less bright, the rain doesn’t seem to melt away the blockade of doubts, of expectations, a reality that never matches imagination.

What is missing is not what I could have had but the idea of what I always craved. It can be related to the theory of love, some people are in love with the idea of love, which on the contrary is nothing like love.

I miss the idea of thoughts divulging in the air and knowing that one is deeply cared. I miss what humans of bonding choose to stay till they reach their graves. Alas! A thought of despair.

Now I know, now I know… that it is truly natural to miss somebody who is not a part of our lives anymore.

Had it just been adoration in place of adjuration. 😦

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