Have you ever

Trauma isn’t impossible to deal with. Trauma always comes unexpected but leaves seldom when it is tied in the abyss of deep, horrific emotions.

The darkness trauma holds cannot be shared, explained or empathized either.
In a trauma, its always more losses than gains and the meaning behind all the choas and cacophony in the mind of a traumatised person can never be heard or thought of.

So why do the things that break a person happen?
Why does the person still stay composed after losing their inner composition?
Why the standing tall even if one feels the smallest person inside?

I emphasise on the emotions, the inner. The facade is all fake. Only if everybody was what they were inside. Only if the armor crumbled then there would be no cause for a wall or a war.

Deep down you’re dying, still you are fighting.
Breathing in debts, baited it feels to take a break.
Happiness is a long gone misery. That is how it feels.

No commitmens, frightened of losing so losing it before already.
Escaping the situation,
Fear..feared..fearing. .

But tell me, have you ever felt you lost a battle you didn’t even fight?

Have you felt, the blame on you for something you felt so true but something you didn’t even do?

Have you ever loved somebody that it destroyed you completely and to add to injury, you didn’t even realize it until there no way ’round?

Have you ever felt that relief in pain?

Have you ever wanted to understand life and found meaning in seeing the pyre burn to ashes?

Have you ever looked for, thought of, feared, felt happy; been rejected, dreaded the past would repeat and found your life has been going in circles but in real it was just a dot, equivalent to dirt, that no body cared of, that nobody knew of, that life which you spent in looking for the reason and meaning was the most meaningless thing ever?


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